It has been a hell of a week, I am now in the thick of grad school applications, we’re nearing end of term which means I have assignments and chapter readings pilling up, and this week was the surprise due date of the Ontario Graduate Scholarship (OGS) for uOttawa. My house literally looked like a bomb went off until Thursday night when I did a whirlwind cleaning spree, because that’s what the cool people do on Halloween right? In amongst this I was also attempting to have some semblance of a life which really meant I got out for two runs this week and had a half hour snuggle with my cat Thursday afternoon. So I was a little busy to say the least.
I honestly didn’t plan for it to turn out this way, I planned on emailing all the professors before the school year even started. I planned on having all the applications done by the end of reading week. I planned on keeping up with my readings every week. And I planned on going out for all sorts of wicked awesome times, because I’m a fourth year and this is supposed to be the time of my life right?
As I lay awake nearly every night begging my mind to just shut off – thinking about what I had to do wasn’t going to get me anywhere – I realized that sometimes even the best laid plans fall apart.
You forget about the little things – like the fact that I would need to mow my lawn and rake the leaves, that laundry would need doing, floors would need mopping, family would need visiting. And it’s easy for me now to get caught up in the trees and forget that I am in a forest. I am very much “future oriented” as my psych textbooks would say. And that’s ok – I have a future that I am trying to plan for. There are more unknowns than knowns and this point, and that’s as good as I can get. And that’s ok.
I am a horrible control freak, a perfectionist always, and somehow also incredibly flakey and easily distracted. And I had to learn to be cool with that. I had to learn to let go of things, and I think it has made me a better person. I learned to let go of the past, because fact is there is nothing I can do about it now.
The second realization I had this week, was that sometimes life is going to hand you an entire bushel of lemons, when even two lemons seems like too much. I’m not going to be cheesy and tell you to make lemonade. That would be too easy. Quite frankly, I’ve never understood the expression. I don’t like lemonade, why would I take something I don’t like and turn it into something else I don’t like? What I realized is that sometimes if you open your eyes, you’ll find a few peaches hidden in that bushel.
Like the man on the bus when I was coming home Wednesday night. In typical 95 fashion, the bus was packed, at Mackenzie King Station a middle-aged man got on the bus, and I watched him in amazement as the entire way to Barrhaven he insisted that others got to sit down first. See as a girl I have it sort of easy – no guy really wants to be “that guy” where a seat opens up and he leaves the girl standing. It’s one of the few times I will admit that being the so called “weaker/more vulnerable” sex comes in handy. This man not only insisted on the girl/woman taking the seat when one opened up in front of him, I watched in amazement, as he stood in the middle of the bus, and a seat opened up in front of him, he had a guy further up help him draw the attention of an older woman closer to the front who had just got on, so that she could sit. Not just like in a near vicinity, but if he could see someone standing that he thought needed to sit, he would make sure they got to sit. You don’t see that kind of gentlemanly behaviour anymore.
Sometimes people just make me smile.
And sometimes, on a bad day all you need is a cat. Like Thursday
Yes, I realize that my crazy cat lady is showing, but science backs me up – cat’s purring is good for your heart. Fortunately my cat just likes to purr. I am not even exaggerating when I say that she has walked up to me purring, knowing that I will be unable to resist her cuteness and will oblige her request.
If you don’t have a cat this video would work too:
And I will have you know, I didn’t just pick the first video that popped up on the search, I selflessly watched endless videos, Kira helped, she only hissed once. Also, I somehow ended up watching a video on why cats purr – turns out it helps build bone density, which is why scientists think cats heal faster than dogs (and apparently have a 90% survival rate when falling from 2 floor windows) and apparently NASA is thinking about using cats to help astronauts, since after all that time in space doing cool space things their bone density sucks. So there’s your random Cat Lady Facts of the day,
My life is only going to get busier for the next six weeks. I am going to have to be the picture of productivity. Which if you’ve read my past posts may be difficult, and is likely to result in an excessive amount of baked goods. I’m working on a plan, which I will probably throw out at the end of the day and just do what I can. At the end of all of this I am going into a mini-coma, might take myself on a mini-holiday, have a mini-drink, eat some mini-cupcakes?
Can you say “The countdown is on”?
How do you deal with multiple competing deadlines? Am I the only one with stress quirks?